


Dream On

by Laugh_at_the_girl_who_loves_too_easily



Category: Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Cutting, M/M, Slash, Student/Teacher, beaten by parents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-18
Updated: 2013-02-18
Packaged: 2017-11-29 16:20:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/688976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laugh_at_the_girl_who_loves_too_easily/pseuds/Laugh_at_the_girl_who_loves_too_easily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daryl Dixon a 'failure' so to speak has spark an interest in his English teacher,Rick Grimes, who is desperate to help him who believes that he can get somewhere.This is the story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dream On

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: AU high school, slash(male/male),student /teacher.   
> Disclaimer: Do not own the characters Mr Kirkman and Co do.  
> A/N: I love when Norman talks about his character you find out so much about him, cannot actually wait for season 3. I really hope and pray they don’t ruin the tv series as they did the comic. (no offense to anyone ,the comic series is awesome but the beginning and the now panels look like there from different comics)  
> Off of my account off FF.net

As the metal scraped across my arm digging deeper as I move it, it blocked out the shouting, screaming and banging of my parents downstairs. The crimson blood slowly slivered down my pale arm in contrast with the tears that had fell from my eyes dancing together in a blend of pain. My room shook as my mother slammed the front door as she left again, probably to not return for a few months. There was a moaning creak that emanated from the front door's hinges that were beginning to fall off just like the peeling paint and nearly everything else in this mouldy old hell hole of a house. I was going to look out the dirty window to see who had ventured outside but when the argument occurred again and a loud smash followed I knew that it was my father. It felt like hours that they were arguing but it was only a few minutes. My mother called my father a 'son of a bitch' slamming the bent car door with emphasis then drove off in her scrap of her grey car, with a newly broken car window. The door once again groaned as he entered the house, he travelled up the stairs each one squealing and croaking with every step. The floor boards of the narrow corridor creaked under his body weight before he stopped by my door a shadow casting under it. Next the door was kicked open, the pristine lock that had newly been attached broken into two pieces, my door now sporting even more imperfections than before. I loosened my thin fingers dropping my razor that was once silver but was now a sickly red stain onto the wooden floor. He towered over my being scowling at me before he clasped his large hand around my wrist where the fresh cuts formed squeezing so the blood flowed onto his hand whilst his other hand formed a fist before striking me in the face. I winced as the pain throbbed in my eye tears bubbling involuntarily.  
" Suck it up, you piece of trash "He spat at me before he vacated my room and the falling apart house, probably going to a bar to get drunk with a new girl (whore). And all this happened before the clock even struck 7am.

I slumped into school in a grey hoodie over a marvel shirt with black skinny jeans, which were ripped in many places (it wasn't a fashion statement), an hour late because I had to walk two miles to get here as my shit head of a dad left me plus Merle was high. Being only sixteen and without a license (plus Merle would skin me alive) I couldn't steal his bike. I looked out of place at this school. Sure, it is a public school meaning there is graffiti and rubbish around but it was quite neat, paint all in the right places and tiles squeaky and clean. And here I stood in the abandoned corridor in my wrecked old clothes with my greasy hair and a bruised face. I wasn't the hottest person on the planet and I never would be. As I placed my messenger bag and books into my messy locker ,that represent how messed up my life was , Mr Grimes my English and substitute Physical Education teacher, as the other one broke a bone, saw me and made a B line towards me. I grabbed my books for my first period ,slammed my locker shut the noise echoing through the halls before I scampered away from the teacher shouting my name murmuring something about 'already bein' late'. Disrupting my class, which was English with Mr Grimes, I walked in with my hood up and sat at my usual seat near the front. All the eyes staring daggers into my back dispersing when Mr Grimes rushed in with papers in his arms.  
"Sorry for that class I had to get these fun photocopies for you. Mr Dixon please remove your hood , you were already late." Rick ordered nicely before he started handing out sheets. As I slowly took off my hood a boy behind me decided to draw attention to me.  
"Whoa look at that bruise Dixon, you annoy your father again by bringing boys home?" He taunted from behind me. The boys' name was Billy , he was a religious boy who'd you expect to be as nice as pie but when it comes to me he hates me... probably cause he thinks I'm gay. I stood up quickly causing my chair to crash over on to the floor. I stood above him first threatening him before I touched him.  
"Wanna say tha' to ma face?" I growled in a closed stance trying to protect myself from words and punches. Mr Grimes placed the papers on the desk he was nearest to then ran over to stop me from punching the Christian, apparently it's racist. He ushered me outside whilst he talked to Billy the bible basher (1) about how he shouldn't be mean. Urgh pathetic. I slide down the cold white wall my knees pressing against my chest knowing I'd be out here awhile whilst the hot teacher and religious freak have a raging discussion. Chatter echoed around the class room as Mr Grimes came out into the corridor after he told them to 'get on with the work'. I stared at my cheap version of converses with many holes as he got down to my level. I really don't understand why he cares no one else in the school does, they all know that I'm going to fail, get sucked in to the alcoholic abyss, OD and die. He studies my face, mostly the bruising that was a purple green colour sort of like a decaying bunch of grapes that was squishy when you touched it too.  
"Mr Dixon I understand what Mr Greene said was hurtful and untrue but you would be worse than him if you hit him" He insisted softly, whenever he spoke I melted maybe it's because he is the closest I've got to someone caring. I grunted at what he said not really wanting to listen. "Daryl, who hit you?" He pleaded for an answer his eyes enthusing this as well as his tone, his long fingers stroked my face unconsciously causing me to push against his hand.  
" No one hit me" My southern drawl stronger as I relived the events of this morning tears threatening to escape.  
"I need to speak to your father-". Rick demanded as he wasn't getting an answer however I interrupted.  
"He's not home" I mumbled as I began to stand up. Rick sighed as I walked back into the classroom following closely behind me. The rest of the lesson felt extended. Everything felt like it was in slow motion as I sat still by myself, the others around me moving like zombies. My head was spinning and I was confused at why? Could it be a concussion? It seems like a bad choice of the cause as he didn't hit me that hard...right? Next thing I knew I felt my throat tighten and my stomach flip, I ran out of the class room towards the bathrooms. As I bent over the toilet spewing up only stomach acid, I choked and gagged. Worst day ever. The bell rang through my ears as I felt disorientated, the herd of children clambering into the corridor could be heard in the bathroom. A creak from the bathroom door followed. I made sure the cubicle door was closed , not locked I couldn't move much at the moment, so no one could see the tears that ran down my face from the burning sensation in my throat cause by the acid.  
"Fuck off" I groaned at the person who pushed open the cubicle door I was in, not noticing it was Mr Grimes. His eyebrows were raised in shock at my language I sniggered at the thought, like that's the worst I've spoken. My sleeves were rolled up my arms revealing my scars and bruises, old and new, a thing I wasn't thinking about as I was concentrating on not throwing up.  
"Daryl...what...who did this to you?" Rick asked in bewilderment as he gripped my left arm softly, turning it so he could inspect all the cuts there depth, age and length. The bruising where my father gripped this morning had only gone down a little...you could still tell it was a hand. He fingers then traced over a word that I had etched deep into my skin, a gasped loudly as he so whether it was pain or pleasure I don't know.  
"Unforgiven? Why did you do this? Daryl talk to me...please I'm here to help." He pleaded in desperation, he made me want to talk to him but how could I? I'm just red neck trash he has his own life to keep track of. I grimaced in disgusted as my stomach rolled when I stood up, Mr Grimes blocking my exit. We stood only inches apart in the cramped toilet stall until he backed down and moved out of my way. I didn't look back as I exited the bathroom. Why does he not know boundaries?

"I'm fine" I lied. I'd always been a bad liar, but I'd been saying this lie so frequently lately that it sounded almost convincing now. I was sat on the cold hard concrete curb in a heavy down pour of rain as I didn't want to go home and see my father or brother after I had finished the exhausting day of school. My odd socks and shoes were soaking in the dirty gutter water; my feet slowly beginning to freeze like my hands were in my pockets, already a very pink colour. Denim stuck to my skin in a uncomfortable position as my jeans were soaked through and through, my boxers moist as the rain water began to soak in. I was sat there silently and minding my own business dreaming of dreams with happy endings (how girly I know) when a car pulled up next to me and a man stepped out.  
"Daryl please get in the car I'll take you home" Mr Grimes, my apparent stalker, demanded as he offered me a hand up.  
"Don't need a ride" I replied gruffly messing with my wet hair that stuck to my face.  
"Then please come with me to my house" He asked more in a way that he was telling me I didn't have an option, I took his hand to stand up then climbed into his nice car knowing he wouldn't give up. I investigated the car for imperfections and like him he didn't have any. His life was perfect. He had a stable income, a white picket house, expensive car and a family. Living the American Dream. When my eyes reached the back of the car I noticed a baby's car seat in the back...with a child in it.  
"Ya never said ya had a child" I stuttered frightened I do something wrong as it stared at me with its big blue eyes. Rick chuckled.  
"He doesn't bite...much." He smiled as we pulled up into his beautiful home. The garden was well kept, the grass mostly the same length, flowers planted as decorations to brighten it up.  
"Is your wife okay with me bein' 'ere?" I pondered out loud as I exited the car. Rick burst into laughter as he grabbed his son's car seat.  
"Don't you worry about that, I don't have a wife any more, she left me" He grinned as he opened the front door to his house. I stepped in and stood on the entrance mat in awe at how nice his house was. He went into the huge opened up living room, unclipped his son from the seat and placed him gently on a mat with colourful toys that were mostly stuffed animals. My eyes were still mentally taking photographs of his great home as he walked over to me with a towel and black dressing gown that I never saw him retrieve.  
"Here. Get dry." Mr Grimes chuckled as he gave me the fluffy objects.  
"I...um...wouldn't want to use...ya dressing gown" I spluttered in embarrassment my face growing warm and probably turning a fiery red colour.  
"Not mine ,don't worry it's a spare, you may use my bathroom" He added before he disappeared into the kitchen that was attached to the living room, opening the shiny silver fridge and beginning to prepare food. I didn't move. Confused at what I was changing into. Still I wandered into his clean bathroom and stripped off my soggy clothes allowing them to fall into a pile on the tiles. I wrapped the soft material around my waist as I looked around his bathroom and found a strange pile of clothes that looked too small to fit Mr Grimes, how fast does this man move? And why hasn't he thrown them away? I slowly slipped the football shirt over my head, pulled the boxers up and put on the long cargo shorts he had gave me. I stood in the middle his bathroom for a few seconds before I decided to fold my clothes, bringing them, the towels and dressing gown with me as I came down the stairs. I placed my wet clothes on my dirty shoes and cautiously brought the towel and dressing gown to my teacher. Sat at the kitchen table was a medical box open with a few things out of it. Mr Grimes ushered me to sit down as he took his belongings from my hands then placed them in the washing machine. He sat calmly next to me and he disinfected my wounds before bandaging them up tightly.  
"Daryl, please talk to me ...I'm here for you" He requested as he held my hands in his, obviously this is meant to be comforting; to me it was just awkward and a little creepy.

..............................................................................................................

I wanted to explain everything to him, every single last detail to how I felt ,what I wanted to do because of it and why I believed I deserved it but...I couldn't , I couldn't trust him nor could I tell him ,that could get me in to a psychiatric hospital, I don't have any choice. I'd been keeping this in for years and now it was beginning to break me and tear me into tiny little uncontrollable pieces. Silence filled the decorated box like room until Carl began to howl again, a piercing sound. Rick stood up staring at me with his bubbling blue eyes before he went over to his 11 month old son.  
"Mr Grimes...may I go home now?" I asked politely trying to stop my redneck accent as I got off the chair it scraped along the floor as I did so.  
"I shall take you in a minute let me just put little Carl to bed and call Dale over for a minute" He replied not looking up at me before he answered. Carl was obviously his rock, he smiled all the time when he was around him and cared so much. Why would his wife leave him? He is kind, good looking and cares for his kid a quality that is rare in fathers. He never showed any sign that his wife had left him he is very good at leaving his professional and personal life separate it seems...so why would he want me to intrude. As Rick carried his beloved son up to his cot wrapping his arms like a cradle around him, I followed unconsciously wondering what I could do to help the still screaming baby. The noise he made caused me to feel guilt and pain that he was unhappy. Carl's room looked like a sanctuary, there were stuffed toys in every corner, a well crafted cot at the back that had silk and cotton blankets and toys the child probably couldn't even play with yet, plus his name was scripted in the back of the crib with a posh curly font . It reminded me of when I was younger, not in the sense I had this stuff hell no my childhood was shit ,I never had toys such as action dolls or cars , I had makeshift toys like a tyre wheel swing or I played with my fathers hunting toys with Merle and then got hit afterwards when he got angry at us for using them ,only when he was drunk was when he never cared. His drunk a lot nowadays but I don't touch his stuff anymore in fact I try to avoid him as much as possible.  
A knock of the door interrupted Mr Grimes soothing of the child. He quickly but quietly travelled to door. I stood in the entrance of the mostly blue coloured room trying to figure out how to calm the child down. Then it hit me. In the corner of the room there was a brown acoustic guitar that looked brand new. I sat on the small blue plastic stool that was next to the cot and began to play to the young child in hope it would calm him down.  
"Ohhh, when I'm around you I'm predictable, cause I believe in loving you with first sight, I know its crazy but I'm hoping to... To take a hold of you" I sang whilst I played the guitar to that song. (So contagious- Acceptance). Carl slowly began to simmer down until it all came to a halt and he was snuggled up in a ball in his beautiful cot. I sighed in relief and turned around to put the guitar back in the corner as I turned around I was greeted by Mr Grimes leaning on the doorway watching me with a smile as big as the Cheshire cat, from ear to ear.  
"I didn't know you could play...let alone sing...thank you, I think Dale should learn that, why didn't you tell anyone?" Rick praised joyfully. Praise , as often as I got it(which wasn't much), turned me bright red...when challenged I have the confidence of a charging bull but when pressured and given a compliment I'm like a snail wanting to crawl back in his shell. As I stuttered to put myself down he pressed his hand on my shoulder and smiled before he suggested taking me home.  
The ride home was awkward but at the same time calm. I enjoy very much being in his company enough so that I would sell a kidney too. I've had a crush on him since I'd started that dreadful school he was the one thing that I looked forward to in my day. Whether I got punched or called a name depending on my mood I would ignore them or attack them back, physically or mentally. But none of that mattered because I got to see him. The way he spoke was like heaven melting away my core, the way he laughed made me smile and the way he hummed to songs he liked made me chuckle. And none of this matter because he is my teacher and...I'm not gay. I can't be gay. Red necks are never gay (not that I want to be a red neck) and it would just give my father another reason to hate me. I decided in the spur of the moment to answer his early question of why I never told anyone.  
"If I was good at something it was probably just a waste of time... And if it gave me pleasure I probably didn't deserve it." I randomly murmured disrupting the silence that had filled the car. Rick look at me a moment before he brought his eyes back to the road.  
"Daryl never think like that, you must always follow your dreams and do things you enjoy...otherwise what's the point?" He advised with a warm hand squeezing my upper leg (nearly my thigh) which sent some electricity up my body.  
As we pulled up the sand/mud driveway to my white(more grey because of the dirt) house that is being swallowed by the enveloping darkness Mr Grimes looked over to me with what looked like shock. I mumbled a thank you as I climbed out of the posh car tripping over my shoelaces as I did and ending up dropping my wet clothes that Rick had offered to wash but I said no, onto the mud. At this point in my day I was easy to make scream because it had been a hard day and I hated embarrassing myself but I sucked it up , clambered to pick up my stuff and ran into the house causing making things to groan and creak when I did. I waited for the headlights to disappear before I moved away from the front door into the kitchen and towards the washing machine to put my clothes in it. It sounded and looked, because no lights are on, that no one was home. I wandered about in dark until my legs hit the uncomfortable sofa and I slumped onto in, closing my eyes to try and get some rest because it didn't look like anyone was coming home tonight.

As blazing sunrays shone through the holes in the curtain towards my face I slowly began to wake up. Yet unfortunately it seems I would not wake up to that lovely wake up call , my father had other plans as did his little slut clinging to his disgusting arm whilst a beer in a glass bottle was in the other. Three. Two. One. Smash.  
"Oi little shit, where's ya stupid brother and why are ya on ma couch? Was it ya 'ho called da pigs on me?" His redneck accent seriously strong because of him being drunk and probably high. The glass bottle he smash was still in his hand whilst the rest of it congregates on the wooden table that had many indents in it and on the carpet that had scorched marks and clumps of dirt in it, now the additional glass. He gripped the shirt that Rick had gave me then threw me at the wall. He scream at me about the police and I scoffed at him before I walked upstairs to get changed. I choose to wear jeans as a jacket over a dark slate tank top. Afterwards I made my way down the stairs, grabbed my bag before I was blocked by my father who stood at the front door.  
"Ya disrespect me, ya get punished." He barked as he swiped the broken green glass bottle at me. The next thing I knew my face was stinging with blood gushing out of it, I couldn't see from my left eye and tears were coming out of my right. He charged at me again whilst his girlfriend watched. This time I kicked him back in the gut for the first in my life I stood up to him as I fear for my life. The pain was nothing compared to the fear, if anyone asked me however I would say I wasn't scared. With me hood up and covering my face I ran away far away until I was able to catch a bus that went closest to the school. Many passer Byers gave me odd looks but none asked to see if I was okay because I'm just not worth the effort.  
Once again I was late to school and no one was in the corridors. My tardiness was sky high. It was really beginning to feel like I was the only one who could deal with this that I couldn't tell anyone that no one would understand in addition to there being no point anyway. No one cared. That was obvious there had been many warning signs to my abuse and no one did anything not even my older brother whose only job should have been to protect me not get high every chance he gets. Rick tried but it wasn't good enough. I didn't bother putting my things in my locker I just made my way to the boys toilets placing my bag next to the white porcelain sinks whilst I got my razor out of my jean pocket. Not a safe place to put it ,I know, as I have many cuts on my thigh but I had reached the point of not having a care in the world months ago. I thought for a moment if I wanted to do this and many things ran through my head such as things people had said like 'your a piece of trash just like your father ' , or about how I'm not smart as I always get a bad grade and that I have never will have anything going for me. My face stung as the blood trickled down my face, now reaching my shirt. I meant to have so many choices as a child but I feel suffocated and that I have no other choice than this. The first cut always hurts the most as I sliced into my wrist horizontally. Both of my wrists were given the same amount of horizontal slashes , 6 each. They were deep enough that the blood gushed out almost like a stab wound with a butterfly knife. One though flashed through my mind before I cut vertically down my wrist, something I wouldn't be able to come back from. I gripped the handle to my bag still holding my razor in the same hand as I exited the bathroom then headed to Mr Grimes classroom. Luckily no one was in there but him. Afraid I stood outside his open classroom door for a few minutes unnoticed. Warm drops of blood dropped from my hand and wrists onto the clean floor.  
"Sir...I can't do this...anymore" I cried as the warm tears fell from my puffy eyes my left eye stinging as I did. The fear that flashed in his beautiful eyes as he looked over to me with my bleeding cuts showing on both my face and wrists. He hurried over to me and shook me by my shoulders.  
"Why Daryl why? This isn't the end of the world? What happened to your face?" He screamed at me almost seemingly like he was unable to get enough air. Tears ran slowly down his face. This confused me no one had ever cried for me, they've cried because of me but never for. I collapse to the floor even though he caught me and pulled me close in his strong arms sitting on the floor with me. He put pressure on my wrists to try and stop the blood that seemed like it would never stop coming.  
"No escape...had to...dreamt of become old and sittin' in a rockin' chair talking to ma grandkids 'bout boring shit, won't happen now..." I moaned whilst my eye sight went even more blurred than before.  
" Somebody help" Rick screamed distraught at how his day had turned out just yesterday we were sat together with his child and now I was slowly dying in his arms, my diseased blood staining his nice clothes.  
"Don't feel responsible" I mumbled confused at how much he was crying. He began shouting louder and pressing harder. Clusters of people came out the classrooms; a lot of gasps filled the corridors. I didn't know I'd die with an audience of people who don't care but will be 'traumatised' for the rest of there life. Fake caring and shock. Teachers all looked like they were using there phones to call someone and the nurse was trying to get to me. Another of the teachers, Shane Walsh the other gym teacher and Rick's best friend came over to Rick and tried to help him obviously only him as he never liked me always gave me weird looks. Next thing everything went black and the last thing I heard from that delightful voice was 'Don't stop fighting, your not weak your the strongest person I know' and 'Even broken wings can fly away and escape but this isn't the way'.

...............................................................................

The boundaries which  
divide life from death  
are at best shadowy and  
vague.  
Who shall say where one  
ends,  
and the other begins?  
Edgar Alan Poe

My eyes fluttered open and were greeted by bright lights and white walls. At first I thought I was dead but then I felt pain in my wrist and face when I moved. You don't feel pain when you die...I don't think. My eyes scanned the plain room the only things decorating it was the violet flowers and the machine I was attached to. In the corner of the eye I could see out of as the other was bandaged up somehow I saw Mr Grimes slumped asleep in the chair next to my bed.  
"Sir...ya don't have to be here" I demanded coarsely my throat killing me. He shot up straight as I scared him awake. His head twisted in confusion at what I said. I stared at the clean white bandages on my wrists as I couldn't look him in the eyes because of guilt.  
"Daryl, look at me. Look in my eyes so you know what I am about to say is true. There is nowhere I would rather be than here with you. There is nobody in my life that is more important than you right now. Not even Carl. I am not here to pity you or out of guilt, I am not here out of some sense of duty to my student I am here because I want to be, I want to be here to help you through this. I wanna hold you if you need to be held, I want you to yell at me if you need to yell, I just want to be here for you." He vowed as he grasped me hand in his tightly. I closed my eyes and leant into his body. The warmth radiated from him whether it was physical or he just had an aura of kindness. This man tried his hardest for everyone whether it be his ex-wife, child or his students...even ones that may fail in life and to me he was never respected enough.  
"Why did ya wife leave ya?" I questioned quietly what was meant to be internally. He chuckled.  
"I will tell you if you answer a question for me. Who did this to your face?" Rick requested politely as he stroke my face. If anyone walked in they would not think he was my teacher and I his student, for some reason unbeknown to me boundaries don't seem to exist with us. It doesn't feel wrong and I know it should. I shook my head I didn't want to tell him; at the least I didn't trust him at the most I was afraid. Afraid of what he would think of me, afraid of what my father would do and how alone I would be. His eyes pleaded at me.  
"Dad" I babbled quickly wanting to crawl in a hole after I finished the word. My emotions built up so fast and in an overload I began to cry again in front of him. I gripped the plain blankets with all my strength as my whole being fell apart, I shook. I wasn't crying I was wailing and I hated it , I'd never felt like this before but I couldn't stop myself. I am defected in someway…how can I not be? Rick left the room ...alone and once again I was falling into the abyss, confused at why he said all those nice things then left. Suddenly he returned and budged me over before he climbed into the small bed with me; I lay my face into his muscular chest whilst I gripped his dress shirt tightly and whimpered into it. He wrapped his arms around me like a safety blanket as if he would never let me go. Now, I didn't care about why he left because he was back. Why does this man make me think irrationally? I closed my eyes and felt I could disappear to another world.

Next I felt rough lips on mine and a hand behind my neck which was keeping our lips locked. Everything in my mind was blank except one thing. He sucked at my bottom lip which stifled a moan from me of which I did not really want to voice but my body was betraying me. As I gasped when he bite me bottom lip he slipped his tongue into my mouth exploring it. But as it had just begun it had ended. Abruptly my eyes sprung open, Fuck, I had just had a sexual dream about my teacher as I fell asleep on him…could this get worse. And then my brother walked into my hospital room like he owned the place.

My brother's eyes were a mirror to his empty soul. Racist, horrible bastard. Never in his pathetic life has he done something to help someone, he has only ever caused pain. A few times he had tried to help me but he only ever cared for himself so it never went well. Once I broke my arm when I climbed a tree and he decided it would be fun to scare me and shoot a squirrel near me that had found nuts near me which did scare me and I fell off the tree backwards then landed on my arm.

"Hello, little brother and…you are?" Merle squawked whilst his eyebrows were raised in confusion, a face he had often.  
"I'm his teacher which you and your family would know if you came to the school at any point" Rick scowled as he still lay next to me.  
"Well, Mr Teacher I don't 'ave a care in der world 'ho you are so fuck off and get off ma brother" Merle sneered in a very over threatening tone but Mr. Grimes seemed unnerved.  
"I'm not leaving until the police get here so…sorry" Rick spat with the 'sorry' extremely sarcastic. Merle growled like a dog then left not without punching the wall first and indenting it. Obviously frightened by the thought of being arrested for something he had done wrong. The next few hours were torture, so many questions and photographs then more questions I just wanted to sleep. I never wanted the police involved. And I regret telling him as he never answered my question. I'd never felt so stupid and vulnerable in my life, so unable to fight for myself. Randomly a blues rock tune played from Rick's pocket, causing him to excuse himself and go in the hall way. The conversation was very heated as I heard the other person on the phone screaming.

"No Rick I don't care who nearly died your son is alone with people who I don't know!"  
"You would know them if you weren't so concerned with Shane, he is fine Lori, if you are so worried go and pick him up"

When it finished Rick sat in the seat opposite the bed and looked me in the eyes.  
"My wife left me for my best friend who'd she been cheating with since we had known each other." He announced out of nowhere, answering the question from earlier today. His eyes seemed pained.  
"The phone call was ya wife?" I stated, my voice rising at the end as I was asking a question. He nodded.  
" She's annoyed at me for leaving Carl with Dale and his grandson Glenn, who's adopted, he is 10. She says I should look after my son more, that work should not be my top priority. I think it's just her pregnancy hormones." Rick described as if he still cared for his backstabbing cheating bitch of a wife whom I already hate even though I had not met her. Shane on the other hand I hated more than before. How can you cheat with your best friend's wife for years and still act chummy with him? It made no sense to me at all and yes I don't have the best track record for being good at socializing but I'm sure I know the difference form right and wrong. Like punching some one that's wrong.  
"Why do ya have custody of ya son?" I mumbled confused. Normally the mother gets the child not the father.  
"I know how the system works and I beat it, I was going to be a police officer…trained for it and everything but then Carl was conceived. Lori is a good mother but with her cheating I didn't find he rot be the best role model and as much as I hate displaying our private life for the world to see, it was how I got full custody plus I had a good lawyer. I didn't want to hurt her by taking Carl away all together so she is allowed to see him every now and again." Rick explained to me gently. He is a honorable man, if anyone cheated on me I would probably end up hurting them badly…runs in the family.

I was asked hundreds of questions in that hospital about a range of things. I had to stay in the psycho ward for a few days and everyday Mr. Grimes visited me. Everyday no one related to me came. In the end I was allowed to go home with Mr. grimes who persuaded the police to let me stay with him in a hotel as they didn't want my father knowing where I was. The hotel was really posh, id never seen so much posh stuff in one place.  
It was after two by the time we got to the hotel.  
Carl was in a cot in the room with an old man and a young Asian kid who was asleep on one of the two single beds in the room.  
Rick and the man I guessed to be Dale exchanged gratitude and then he left with the sleepy Asian kid. The room was really big for two people and a baby; there was even a huge en suite bathroom with a walk in shower.  
As I lay on top of the blankets on the foam mattress bed, I closed my aching eyes.  
I can never remember my dreams. Come morning I have no idea what's passed through my head in the dark hours and yet I know if my dreams have been really bad. They must have been really bad that night, because I woke up, hardly an hour after falling asleep, to find myself drenched in sweat and hardly able to breathe. Gasping I got out of bed and shuffled into the bathroom, leaning against the sink and splashing cold water on my face. When I looked back up in the reflection of the mirror I saw Mr. Grimes which nearly gave me a heart attack.  
"Sorry, are you alright?" He questioned concerned with a yawn. I stared back at him intently with guilt.  
"I didn't mean to wake ya…sorry, bad dream" I gasped still trying to catch my breath. He placed his soft hand on my cheek to console me before he gripped my hand and lay down on the bed with me.  
"My mother used to do this with me when I had a bad dream" He chuckled as he rubbed circles into my back. Does he think me as only a child? I don't know how long he did it for but I ended up falling asleep again and not waking up until the morning. Waking up to Mr. Grimes is somewhat like a dream come true for me. He is like my life boat. And I was extra giddy to wake up to his arms being wrapped around me as my face used his chest as a pillow. All I could hear was his breathing and it made me forget everything. The silence was calming and I just watched his chest rise and fall. Gathering all the courage I had I lifted my face to his sleeping one and watch him for a moment, study his facial features from his perfectly thin shaped nose to his beautiful pink lips that were surrounded by a flattering amount of stubble. I softly placed my lips against his and I felt a heavenly rush from my heart down to my legs. A sure spark of electricity surged within me as I had my first kiss. It was harmless, nothing passionate in it but it was enough. As I pulled away Rick was staring into my eyes, shocked and it was obvious that this…feeling…was unrequited. My heart is a hollow pain.

...........................................................................................................

"I'm so…sorry" I mumbled frightened, tears beginning to fall, as I backed off of the bed until my back hit the hard wall. Rick was still in shock but was moving towards me. It hurt more that he was shocked that I kissed him, it was like he lead me on, he had hugged me tightly whilst we slept last night not only that he was the only person to actually visit me in hospital…he saved my life as well. And now I can tell that I read too much into it, he only cared for me like he would his young son. "I'm sorry" I cried once more before I escaped from the now claustrophobic room, running down the corridor like a coward, running from my fears and dreams…giving up all that could save me because I was too scared to look rejection in the eyes.  
As I walked along the road towards my house I noticed my reflection in a puddle. I'd never liked what had looked back at me…how could I? So many bad memories were scarred on my face whether it is the bruising that will fade away at some point or the broken bones that fixed themselves. Memories are funny things trust me when I say that the bad ones can weigh down the good ones. I curled up so my knees touched my chest whilst I sat on the dirt bank opposite the road. Lost. I didn't know what to do…I ruined everything. I fell back and lay on my back whilst I felt sorry for myself. Many cars drove past me there engines loud and some with creaky parts but a roaring engine pulled up next to me as I lay down.  
"Jump on, little brother" Merle demanded as he sat on his black motorcycle, I sat below him for a moment before I jumped on gripping his ripped denim tank top in between my dirt marked fingers. Merle drove at a speed that one was illegal and two should be scary however I found it exhilarating , like a high. At this moment I think I would do anything to make myself feel better whether it kills me. I don't really have anything to live for now. Nothing. No future, no job, no family. We arrived at my brothers destination pretty quickly, loud music and talking was erupting from the large white house. Merle motioned for me to follow and I did for the first time in awhile I listened to my brother. He kicked the enormous doors open revealing the loud music to be a teenage party with many participants.  
"Ya know Dad's in jail, right?" He growled as he lead me through the horny crowd and over to a table full of men around his age. I shook my head. He began to grab little packets of what I guessed to be drugs out of his satchel placing them on the wooden table. He cut open one of the bags with his divers knife and poured it's white powdery contents onto the table before he began to put it in sections. The men around the table then rolled up a dollar bill and began to snort it. After Merle snorted one he gave me a line to snort and...I did. What did I have to lose? He clapped a hand on my back as he laughed loudly with the others around the table. I slowly moved away from the table that my brother was sat at and moved over to the drink table, grabbing a shot of whiskey not even thinking about how it's an open bar and anything could be in it and what it may do to me because I'm mixing drugs. I drank it quickly giving a harsh intake of breathe at the burn in the back of my throat. The music that was booming not that long ago, I could no longer hear.  
I felt invincible, indestructible, like I owned the world...like I could be everything I wanted to be and more. So euphoric and my heart pounded really hard and fast. I just felt completely numb and great. I closed my eyes but when I opened them again I was the other side of the room.  
My eyes were caught by an older guy of about 22 who looked right back at me with a flirtatious face.  
I followed the older guy outside the house. We turned the corner and his began to make out with me and then I closed my eyes in ecstasy and opened them again to see Rick in front of me.  
Rick wrapped my legs around his waist. He then pushed my back up against the wall; I heard  
it crack in the process. The hard brick was not that comfortable and I was  
confused at what was going on. His mouth attacked my  
pale neck, teeth biting down hard even breaking the skin. I cried out in both  
pain and ecstasy which apparently spurred him on more. One of his hands was on  
my butt gripping tightly enough that I think it will bruise and the other was  
making its way up my jumper which I wore nothing under as it was back at the hotel. My hands were grasping his tight pectoral muscles gripping the thin white material  
into fists. Heaven. And then there was another Rick throwing the other one off of me. Two Ricks! I must be dreaming. Then I remembered that when I had closed my eyes it was a blackout and I ending up going to the bathroom and had rang Rick talking to him about random crap. As I clambered up onto my feet I shook and ended up crashing into Rick number 2 who was hitting Rick number 1 who was on the floor.  
" He is only a minor you creep!"(Ironic) Rick bellowed as he hit the guy below him once more before he gasped my hand tightly and pulled me to his car. I sat in the passenger seat in silence whilst my high slowly disappeared.  
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Rick scolded as he sat in the driver's seat his hands firmly placed on the steering wheel. I scoffed nearly wanting to cry again.  
"I'm not an angel, Rick, and I've defiantly got nothin' goin' for me" I objected once again spilling my feelings out to a man who no longer cares.  
"Daryl, please, I just want you to be happy" He sighed with tears forming in his beautiful mesmerizing blue eyes.  
"Ya wanna know what happiness is!  
It's waking up in the middle of the night for no reason, shifting under the blankets and feeling the heat of the person next to you. Ya turn around and see them in their most, peaceful, innocent and vulnerable state. Ya smile, kiss their face in the gentlest manner so as not to wake them.  
Then ya turn back around and ya feel an arm wrap around your waist, and you know it doesn't get any better than this." I sobbed as I poured my heart out, my dreams, what I believed and utterly wished for. I felt like the walls were closing around me and I was alone like the first star you see at night that turns out to be a satellite. And then I felt heat radiating against me before I was pulled to the other side of the car. As I sat on Rick's lap wrapped up tightly I wondered why he was still doing this? His soft long fingers wiped away my tears. And his lips brushed over mine in a smooth embrace.

................................................................................................................

'Nothing fixes a thing so intently in the memory as the wish to forget it ' Michel de Montaigne

Dreamy, drowsy, drugged. Wake up, sleepyhead. I can't open my eyes. Why can't I open my eyes? Try harder. No good. My eyes are broken. Listen then. Silence. No , not quite silence. Beeping sounds, far far away.

'Wake up, sleepyhead.'  
Aw, please let me sleep. I'm so very tired. No get up. Open your eyes. Move your arm at least. I try. Arm disobeys. At least I think it does, but I'm not sure where it is, try harder. Find it, feel it. It should be connected to your shoulder ... There it is, with a hand on the end, and fingers too. Try moving a finger. Nope , can't. I can feel something though. What it is? Feels familiar. A hand in mine : warm and comforting.

Voices. People with voices saying things I don't understand. Long words. Ask them where you are. Ask them why you can't open your eyes. Ask them ask them ask them what's wrong with you. Speak. Now. I can't I can't I can't. Screaming inside my head. My eyes are broken and my brain is too.

'Wake up, sleepyhead. Its time to wake up now. Come on, open your eyes, just for me. I know you can do it if you try. No?... Well, squeeze my hand... Even just a little bit. Please?'  
"Well , we'll try again tomorrow. You can rest up and we'll try again. Yes, tomorrow you'll be stronger, I just know it.' Silence and then, ' don't you dare leave me. Don't even think about it. I won't let this happen again. I WON'T. You hear me? You try harder tomorrow, ok? Just. Try. Harder' the same voice tight and choked. It's choking me.  
It hits me. Like a physical blow to my heart. That night. I remember that night!  
I remember. All of it. And it hurts, more than I'd have ever thought possible.  
I know where I am and what I've done and why I can't move or speak or open my eyes. And I'm scared. It was all a terrible mistake. I'd like to not be here. I'd like to go home now. Please. Please.

The hand is back, nestled in mine. Music is playing. The same song over and over again. I've heard it somewhere before, I think. It's beautiful. The music stops and then he speaks.  
' I hope you don't mind listening to that. I thought...you might wake up. Stupid of me , probably. I didn't tell you before, but it reminded me of you the moment I heard it. I don't know why'

A pause and then his voice is a closer - right next to my ear. "I'm here for you, if you need a friend. I know I might not be your first choice, but I reckon we've got more in common than you think. Don't laugh" I'm not.  
I feel the gentlest of kisses on my hand and I try to move I thought so hard so hard my brain hurt.

I woke up in a hospital room. The window blinds were drawn but there seemed to be soft light behind them. I'd live to see another day. I lay still for long minutes. I was very hot. Then I risked moving my arms and legs. Everything hurt. Everything did what it was suppose to. I sat up and had a whole new experience of pain. Who knew a coma would cause so much pain?  
I sat still on the bed, just concentrating on breathing in and out, waiting for the pain to fade. After a while, when it had drifted back to a dull ache, I thought about lying down again. Only sensible thing really. Except I desperately needed to pee.  
I lowered myself to the floor and experimented with standing upright. At the far end of the room, about 6 feet away, was a door that I was praying led to a private bathroom. No way was I negotiating a corridor.

I set off. Oh shit, it hurt. My head was spinning by the time I got to the door. A huge sigh of relief escaped me when I relieved myself. After flushing the loo, I left the bathroom.

I collapse onto bed with a huff of pain and lay there on top of the thin blankets. I ran my hands over my face-God, it was sore. I raised my fingers to trace what felt like a new scar. I wondered where Rick could be...or if he had ever been here? I heard his voice but how do I know I didn't imagine It I was drugged. I think I may love him or I'm falling in love with him .It's like you feel ashamed that someone who could be that important to you that without them you feel like nothing. No one will ever understand how much it hurts, you feel hopeless like nothing can save you.  
"Rick..." I mumbled to myself with my eyes closed thinking about all the things I dreamt about that didn't happen...did I learn anything from them? That I'll never get what I want? Or that what I want is right with me just in a different package?

"Daryl...Daryl are you awake?" A familiar voice asked with confusion evident in his tone. I shot up quickly not wanting my visitor to see me in a compromising position.  
"Oh lord, your finally awake" Rick sighed like the whole world was lifted off of his shoulders, he rushed over to me and embraced me in a constricting hug. Kept mumbling 'thank God, thank God' as his head rested on my shoulder. When he pulled back he held my hand whilst he inspected my bandages on my wrists.  
"How long...'ave I been out?" I stuttered whilst my face turned red that he was being so caring. It was nice to have him visit but somewhere deep down I wished...prayed that maybe my family ...just Merle would do...cared enough to visit me. Pipe dream. Rick was smiling like he'd won the lottery it was...creepy.  
"You've been out for 2 weeks" Rick pointed out like it was the best news in the world. I stared at the man dumbstruck. This can't be true. All I did was cut my wrists...I'd done this so many times I've lost count. How deep did I cut?  
"Anyone else visit?" I asked the sadness in my choking out. My eyes watched the motions of his soft thumb stroking my hand. His smiled faded and metamorphosed into an ugly frown that every time he pulled made his face age. He shook his head in shame and disappointment.  
"Carl did and Glenn and Dale" Rick admitted his voice sounding slightly strangled like he may be hiding something. My eyes glared into him hoping he would spill.  
"Your dad's in jail...waiting for trail, waiting for you and Merle came...I wouldn't let him see you" He revealed as he stroked my arm in a consoling way. I rubbed my face in my cupped hands wincing at the pain it caused but pressure was already building and I have not even been awake for 30 minutes yet.  
"Why didn't ya let ma brother see me?" I asked my accent getting thicker as I was upset. My 'h' in the 'why' standing out a polar bear in a green forest. I was attacking the one person who visited me the most...who most likely came every day. Rick rolled his eyes.  
"He is an anchor, Daryl, he isn't good for you" Rick urged he stature heightening and tone more demanding.  
"He's family" I screamed probably disturbing the rest of the hospital as a nurse stuck her head in with a scowl on her face before disappearing again.  
"Fuck off" I warned, my hands tightening into fists around the blanket. Why do I always get so angry at him? Is it because I know he'll never love me but yet he'll never leave me?

"You have this aura of being big and bad and having no feelings but its bullshit" Rick announced with his upper lip twitching in anger. "And I see through it. I think you feel deeply but you're too afraid to show it, so you fight back and insult the people trying to help you" He said before he left the white room, leaving me to regret everything I had done in the last 30 minutes and the air seemed to get denser. I found it difficult to breathe. I grasped at my neck, gripping and scratching desperately trying to get oxygen to my lungs. A young nurse who only looked in her late twenties rushed in checking the machines before she gripped my shoulders loosely and looked into my eyes.  
"Calm down, Mr. Dixon, you're just having a panic attack. Just concentrate on breathing." Her calm voice spoke as she breathed with me. After it subsided I ended up falling asleep, the nurse even being kind enough to tuck me in.  
"Why can't I just tell him that…I love him?" I cried before I fell asleep to the sound of silence.

Rick was packing stuff, which I guess to be mine, into a small suitcase he had brought in with him to the hospital. Yesterday he had explained to me that we were going to my house collecting a few pairs of clothes and other essentials and then I was staying at his. This confused me greatly. Surely, teachers shouldn't have this relationship with their student? He also explained to me in great boring detail that I had court in three days which I had to testify at. Every time he mentioned it my heart stung. As much as I hated my father I was conflicted about whether I could send him to jail, even if he may have scarred me too many times. If anything my mom should be held just as accountable.

My face was still a mess. My nose was swollen and discoloured and the bruising around my eyes, whilst fading, was still very much in evidence. The stitches were visible from my left temple and downwards. Still barely recognisable.  
As we drove to my house, the radio playing quietly in the background but not loud enough to actually hear the lyrics, the silence was tense...being alone with Rick was tense since my outbreak a few days ago.  
"I'm sorry...I'm stupid, a'right?" I blurted out as I messed with my new bandages the nurse had put on me before I was discharged. Rick's foot slammed on the break because of my outburst scared him. Luckily no cars were behind us... I mean we're in the middle of fucking nowhere who would drive out here unless they wanted to kill themselves. He mouthed an apology at nearly making us crash before he began driving again, not even commenting on what I said.  
When we pulled up to my breaking, near abandoned looking, house fear struck me like lightening. I knew my father was in jail and Merle was probably not around. But my breath was stuck in my throat and my feet weren't working. Rick placed a hand on my cheek, shocking me out of fear. Strangely. He looked in my eyes so sincerely. I clambered out of the car like I did the first time he dropped me off. My legs shook as they carried me up the dirt path to my front door. In took me a few minutes to even get my hand to open the creaky door. The creak seemed louder than ever and floorboards dustier than before. It was torture being back here. Memories flooded back. Hitting me like a tidal wave. I ran up to squeaky stairs even though I was frightened my feet may fall through the rotten wood. I expected my room to be untouched...I was wrong. Precious things shattered, ripped, burnt. I stood there dejected unsure of what to do. I closed my eyes and breathed slowly. In and out. I grabbed some clothes and comics then made my way out to the car where Rick was waiting, I slammed the creaky door on the way out glad that I couldn't finally (hopefully) leave that life behind. I just wanted to burn that part out of my life. Jumping into the car praying I wouldn't have to step on this dirt ever again.

Shutting the door after I entered Rick took my jumper/coat and placed in on a hook before gesturing me to follow him towards a room upstairs. It was the last room on the left opposite Carl's room. Inside was a metal framed single bed, wooden draws and a table set out like a work desk. Pencils and pens all spread out on the desk.  
"I hope this is adequate" He smiled as he placed my small suitcase behind the door.  
"Rick! I am fed up with you leaving Carl with strangers" A whiny female voice yelled from downstairs.  
"How did you get in here, Lori?" Bitch. Rick asked as he stomped down stairs. I peered around the corner and down the stairs to eavesdrop, in the living room stood a thin woman with long brown hair holding baby Carl like a Chihuahua. There arguments weren't as bad as my parents but they were nearly bad enough that if I didn't know better I would call the police for domestic abuse, Lori being the abuser, Rick the victim. Not that rick is weak, no he is far from weak, he is an honourable man who will hear a woman out and not scream ion her face when he disagrees.  
"Why aren't you at work anyway?" She threatened; Carl was now on the floor playing with a stuffed toy.  
"I quit" Rick admitted. "Lori please leave now" He said politely as he ushered her towards the door he held open for her.  
"You can't quit you have to earn money to help look after our kid!" Lori exclaimed using her hands to enthusiastically to express her invalid point. "Is this all for that stupid kid who tried to commit suicide? Rick your better than this" Well she has good aim. Hit right in the middle of my heart. Rick slammed the door on her face locking it afterwards. I slowly trudged down the stairs at met Rick at the bottom.  
"Why'd you quit?"I asked quietly.  
"So I can spend all my time with Carl and you. Making sure you become all you can, that Carl has a good childhood and then finally reaching my true dream of becoming a police officer. I've saved enough money for causes like this, finance will be fine. Firstly I'm going to tutor you here, so you don't have to deal with the stress of school this year and you can concentrate on getting better" He announced with such honesty and like nothing could ever change his mind.

Over the next few days a routine was formed. It made me feel at home. In the morning I would wake up between 9 and 10am where Rick would already be up with Carl, and then he would show me how to cook whatever breakfast I wanted whilst Carl gurgled and burped as he watched some weird psychedelic TV programme. After I finished eating and getting dressed Rick spends 3 hours teaching me English, Maths or Science. Later in the day we have dinner with Carl in his green highchair and then settle in the living room to either study or watch TV (I prefer to do the latter). Today however was not like this routine. No it destroyed the routine with fire. Burning it to ashes. I woke up at 7 am, showered and ate breakfast before getting dressed into a rented suit (never wore one before). The gorgeous breakfast I ate however did not stay in my stomach and ended up in the toilet from nerves. Rick was constantly calming me down when I woke up, in the car ride, before we entered the courthouse and not once was I able to say thank you.

I sat in a box like room with a television in front of me that showed me the court room and a camera pointed at me. As I wasn't over 18 I wasn't allowed in the court room, thank god I don't have to face Dad. I was nearly having a panic attack. And when his Lawyer began asking questions, accusing me that it was my fault and that my father never hit me I just wanted attention like I did with the suicide I had to stop myself from crying right in front of the camera. This wasn't fair, I was the victim! Why was he making it my fault? The experience of being in court seemed to last an eternity and the time it took for them to get a verdict... even longer. When they told the court they found him guilty of abuse and attempt of murder I nearly jumped with joy but I was so tense to find out how long he was in jail for that all that escaped my mouth was a whining noise that sounded like a dead animal. 15 years without parole. I would be 30 before he got out. Tears began to stream down my face. Tears of joy I hadn't cried them in years. Not that I would admit it but I finally felt that I didn't have to be scared anymore. When they let me out of the claustrophobic room I ran and hugged Rick, trying to avoided squishing Carl in between us.

"Come on, let's go have some fun." Rick announced with a gorgeous smile plastered on his face.

When Rick said lets go have some fun I never knew he meant going to the beach with two 10 year olds and an old man. The Asian boy, Glenn, had bought a friend with him who was a girl but not his 'Girlfriend' named, Maggie. She was defiantly the one who wore the pants in that relationship whatever it was. Then obviously Dale had to come as it's his grandson. Most of the time he played with Carl in the shallow water. I didn't go in the water I just sat on the beach watching the wave's crash against the sand. My hands sifted the gruff sand through my fingers. I watched as Rick threw his son up in the air and caught him then repeated the sweetness in his smile and the joy in Carl's laughter filled me with hope. Hope for the world that not everyone was like my dad. Next thing I knew Rick had football tackled me, sand spraying everywhere, tickling me as I kicked him gently. He then through me over his shoulder in a fireman lift and walked over to the sea.  
"You sure you're not going in?" He snickered as he was ready to drop me. I nodded embarrassed. And then I was soaked by salt water, in my hair, mouth and underwear. Rick stood above me gripping his stomach as he laughed loudly. His laugh melting me inside and out.  
After a few minutes of being soaked to the bone I decided to go and get changed in one of the small wooden changing rooms that Rick had rented that looked more like a beach house than a changing room. It took me awhile to take my trousers off as they were jeans and they stuck to my skin like Velcro. I pulled my wet shirt over my head and let it fell to the floor. I stood there for a few moments in my dripping wet boxers before I searched for a towel I could dry myself with when I was rudely interrupted.  
"Oh god, I'm so sorry" Rick spluttered as he covered his mouth in shock of walking in on me in just boxers that were sticking to my figure, revealing everything. My face felt as warm as the sun and was probably as red as it too. To my surprise Rick closed the door as he came towards me gripping my face with his wet hands and placed his lips on mine. It slowly deepened, his tongue begging for entrance as he pushed me onto one of the lounging chairs, straddling my hips and rubbing our lower regions together. My mind was going blank. His teeth nipped at my neck before he took my perked nipple into his warm mouth, swirled his tongue around it before sucking it. A trail of saliva was then made from my chest to my hip bones where I thought I would go to heaven but...he stopped. I was gasping for air as he looked into my eyes.  
"I love you, Daryl" He admitted sincerely. "And I don't want to rush this, even though people won't take us seriously, I want to be with you for a long time" There is a heaven.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope they are not too OOC.   
> 1\. I am not religious however this is not what I believe, it is just for the matter of fiction. I hope I did not offend anyone. I had such a weird playlist when writing this... Backstreet boys- incomplete...not normally my music.  
> The way I developed Daryl's character for this is from something Nahmen (Norman) said on playing his character. "He was written very angry and just like 'fuck you, fuck you, fuck you' I'm trying to play him as a virgin who was constantly put down and had to fight for everything, as someone with a huge chip on his shoulder. In television, you kind of have to plant these little seeds and hope that those trees bare fruit. So I'm constantly trying to look for little moments and make this guy evolve." I must say it shocked me to read that he plays him as a virgin but am I reading it the wrong way? Does he mean it differently?


End file.
